At 1 a.m. in the office building, only the lamp on my desk was still on. The flashing report numbers on the screen gradually blurred, and the pictures of more than ten years of hard work suddenly flashed back in my mind-the grit and persistence when I was harassed by customers, the temporary joy when I was promoted and raised, the empty subway after working late at night, and the deserted subway that was curled up alone in a rental house when I was sick.
,:,“”--,,,.But some things you really desire should always be "customizations". For me, becoming a mother is the one hidden most clearly in my heart.
“”.In the second half of my life, I should write and star myself.
“”,.Some friends advised me to "wait a little longer", some elders worried that "the child is too pitiful without his father." Even I myself have repeatedly weighed it in countless late nights: Is this decision too impulsive? Will the future road be too difficult?
,.Those reasons that made me feel at ease became the courage to fight against the unknown.
In the past ten years, I have not become a famous executive in the workplace, but I have also saved a "parenting fund" through pragmatism and careful calculation.
,,“”.I took a calculator and listed it all: prenatal check-up expenses, imported milk powder, early education classes for 0-6 years old, basic education expenses in primary school... every item was clearly calculated.
,.The number in this salary card is not a cold deposit, but the confidence that I don't have to look at anyone's face. I can rent a sunny house for my child on my own, register for medical treatment immediately when he is sick, and let him wear clean clothes to explore the world. This sense of control is more reliable than any promise.
In my workplace and life, I have seen too many relationships that are barely maintained in order to "give my children a complete family."
,,“”.The silence at the dining table, the cold war in the living room, the deliberate avoidance of disputes between parents, those oppressive atmosphere are more suffocating than living alone.
,“”,.There is no subtle tension, no moments to observe, only my unreserved companionship and support. I will tell him,"You are expected to come into this world," I will lift him up as soon as he falls, and I will be more excited than he is when he shares the joy. This simple, warm and certain love is far more powerful than formal "completeness".
Someone asked me: "Without a father, who will guide the children's values?"
:“,?”I replied with a smile: "The survival wisdom that the workplace has taught me over the past ten years is a relatively good tutor."
,“”;,“”;,“”.I know the weight of persistence and the boundaries between right and wrong. These qualities, which are soaked in the bones, will be passed on to the child little by little, making him a down-to-earth, sober and powerful person.
I will be 36 soon, and I clearly know that my body functions are at the end of its golden period, and my work has entered a relatively stable plateau.
36,,.This is the "window period" given to me by God, and it is also the "opportunity" I am fighting for myself.
“”,.Now that I have figured out what I want, there is no need to let "no partner" become a stumbling block in the way of my wish. Just like when I resigned naked and job-hopping back then, this time, I just made another choice that was loyal to my heart.
After many years in the workplace, I have long developed the ability to "filter noise".
,“”.Some people say that "a woman who is not married and has children is a failure." Some people say that "you don't understand how hard life is for a single mother." But I understand that there is never a standard answer in life, and there is no unified template for happiness.
,.Dare to make major choices for your life, dare to take on everything that comes with it, and have the ability to manage your life well. This is the real skill.
,,.I don't know how many difficulties I will encounter in the future, but my heart is full of down-to-earth courage.
:,,“”.Your life script should always be written by you yourself.